Expectation

Last week I spent a lot of time thinking about the word “expectation.”  It came about because as I was describing my actions to several people; I would always add, “…but I wasn’t doing it in order to receive something back.”  Meaning I was not doing it expecting something back in return.  Somewhere in the third or forth telling of my story, I asked myself why I had to keep adding that disclaimer.  It then became clear to me that in some way I must have been expecting something in return as a result of my actions.  I am clear that my actions were not done in order to receive something back, yet on some level, I expected something

Expectation is often defined as “a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.”  So, as I was doing things for others, there was some part of me that had “a strong belief that something would be the case in the future.”  That something took many different forms – “friendship,” “respect,” “kindness,” “understanding,” etc.  Again, the actions I had taken were not done in order to receive “friendship,” “respect,” “kindness,” or “understanding,” but some part of me had expectations that those things would be received.

As I pondered the word expectation and what role it had in my actions, I had to determine if it lined up with a Christian’s life.  I determined that it did not line up.

Luke 6:34-35 states “And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.  But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.”

Matthew 6:3-4 states “But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.”

Acts 20:35 states “I have shewed you all things, how that so laboring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how He said, it is more blessed to give than to receive.”

In the above scriptures the Lord is telling Christians that they should give/take actions without expecting anything in return.  In fact, Christians should seek to give/take actions with the least amount of fanfare, understanding that the Lord sees your actions, and He will reward you.

My goal is to now give/take actions freely without expecting anything in return.  I think it will take time to get there, but I believe this attitude will bring freedom.

Glory to God for All That He Has Done

Blessings – Janice

Life Transitions Christian Coaching

 

Regret

Regret, what a loaded word.  For some reason that word has entered my thoughts a few times over the past couple of weeks.  Generally, the word regret is associated with a negative circumstance.  I think of the phrase “I regret to inform you…,” or “I look back over my life with regret…”  In both of these phrases, there is an undesirable connotation.

Regret is often defined as a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. I suspect that most individuals would be able to describe some level of regret in their lives.

What crossed my mind is the thought that if you can articulate regret, are you able to articulate what you can do to address or lessen the regret.  The nine most common regrets that people have at the end of their lives include:

• I wish I had been more loving to the people who matter the most. …
• I wish I had been a better spouse, parent, or child. …
• I wish I had not spent so much time working. …
• I wish I had taken more risks. …
• I wish I had been happier and enjoyed life more. …
• I wish I had lived my own dream. …
• I wish I had taken better care of myself.
• I wish I had done more for others…
• I wish I had chosen work that was meaningful to me…

When I look at this list, I think to myself that if God’s wakes you tomorrow, you have an opportunity to address any regret.  As you look at the list, which ones resonate with you?  Are you spending too much time at work?  Is there something you feel you should be doing to be a better spouse, parent, child, or friend?  Do you want to take better care of yourself?  Do you need to repair a relationship?  Is there a dream you have postponed or been afraid to follow?

Let me encourage you to seize the day (Carpe Diem) and begin to live a “regret free” life.  Ask God for His guidance and trust in His promises.  Let Philippians 3:13-14 serve as an encouraging scripture – “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

Glory To God For All That He Has Done

Blessings – Janice

Life Transitions Christian Coaching

Change

Change – What a Loaded Word

For some it elicits excitement and anticipation, and for others fear and dread.  Some people seek and desire change, while others run from and loath it.  After many years of being in the latter group, I have come to understand that is not “change” itself that I dreaded, it is simply the process.

Change is defined as “…to make or become something different.”  While the definition seems so innocent, it is the ‘something different” that I would resist, mainly because of the uncertainty.  I was finally able to come to terms with change, when I was reminded about who is in control of everything– God. Once I was reminded of the omnipresent of God, I was able to embrace change.

Deuteronomy 31:8 tell us that “…the Lord, He it is that doth go before thee; He will be with thee, He will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.”

Philippians 4:6 tells us that we should “be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

And my favorite:

Philippians 1:6 tells us “Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

Know that as a Christian, God goes before you; He is for you, and He will never leave you – those promises should provide needed confidence when facing changes.

Glory To God for All That He Has Done

Blessings – Janice Caldwell

Life Transitions Christian Coaching

Perseverance – The Way out of the Pit

I have started a study on the Apostle Paul and am in the process of reading the book “Paul:  A Man of Grace and Grit” by Charles R. Swindoll.  Everything that I am about to write comes directly from the book or was inspired by reading Chapter One.

Imagine an individual who has experienced the following events in his life:

1. 1831 Attempted a career in business and failed
2. 1832 Ran for State Legislature and was unsuccessful
3. 1832 Applied to law school and was rejected (even laughed at…)
4. 1833 Started another business, using borrowed money, and failed.  Went bankrupt
5. 1835 Feel in love, and fiancée died shortly after engagement
6. 1836 Had a nervous breakdown and spent 6 months in bed recovering
7. 1838 Sought to become Speaker of State Legislature and was defeated
8. 1840 Sought to become the Elector of the State and was defeated
9. 1846 Ran for Congress and won
10. 1848 Ran for re-election and lost
11. 1849 Sought the job of Land Officer and was rejected
12. 1854 Ran for Senate of the United States and lost
13. 1856 Sought the Vice Presidential nomination and suffered embarrassing defeat
14. 1858 Ran for U.S. Senate and lost
15. 1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected President of the United States

Often we have faced defeat or not had the victory that we felt was certain, we give up or think maybe we’ve made a mistake on the path we took.  I was so very encouraged by reading the many setbacks experienced by Abraham Lincoln, but how he in the face of those defeats continued forward.  Imagine if he stopped in 1835 and totally gave up; or in 1848; or even in 1858 when his victory was around the corner.

I am reminded that Christians do not have the power to see around the bend or over the hill that we are currently climbing, but as long as we are on the path that God has laid out before us – we can have all confidence and assurance that He is going before us (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Today, consult with God concerning your path, and if you have His assurance that your path is correct, keep moving forward, keep persevering, keep praying.  Your change may be a month, a day, a week, an hour, a minute, or maybe even simply a second away.  Don’t give up now.

I hope this is as encouraging to you as it was to me this morning.  Also know that a Life Coach can help keep you encouraged, motivated, and accountable for staying true to your goal and staying on your path.

Glory to God for All That He Has Done

Blessings – Janice Caldwell

Life Transitions Christian Coaching

Goals

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” – Bill Copeland

I was recently at a training session and the presenter made a statement “I know that you all have you 3 and 5 year goals established and written down.”  I sat there in utter amazement, because I did not.  I had no idea what my goals were for next year, let alone 3 years.  I certainly had broad ideas in my mind: (1) buy some new furniture; (2) retire; (3) become a better person; etc., but that was about it.  I think my amazement came from the fact that I know how important goals are and the need to actually write them down.  I used to tell people, it is not enough to have goals in your head, but that it was important to write them down because it makes them become truly real.

Well – what are goals?  I like Merriam-Webster’s on-line definition, which is “the end toward which effort is directed.” So if you goal is to graduate, you will direct your efforts towards that end.  The Lord tells us in Proverbs 13:16 that “a wise man thinks ahead; a fool doesn’t and even brags about it!” (TLB).

I think sometimes that we are afraid to write down the dreams (goals) of our hearts.  Writing them down makes them real and pushes us to really and truly think about them.  What Christians know is that where there is fear, faith cannot reside.

In this moment, I encourage you to write down your dreams – your goals in life, and then begin asking God to give you counsel on them.  Ask Him if they are His will for your life, and if they are – seek His guidance on how and in which ways to attain them.  If your dreams – your goals are not within God’s will for your life, ask Him for clarity on what it is you should be striving to achieve and then re-adjust.

If you are ready to begin moving toward the goals, with God’s guidance and wisdom, know that a Coach can aid you in your journey.

Blessings – Janice

Glory To God for All That He Has Done

TLB = The Living Bible

Frustrated – What Next?

I had actually started writing on a different blog topic when I became frustrated – and so decided to write about frustration.  Frustration is often defined as “…a feeling of annoyance that occurs when something doesn’t go as you expect.”  Lately it seems as if there have been several days that things have not gone as expected.

So, what generally happens when you become frustrated?  Well, for me, I get impatient, upset, discouraged, angry, and many other wide ranges of emotions.  And typically when I am in that state, it is difficult for me to:  (1) see the silver lining, (2) see the sun peeking through the clouds; or (3) see the bright side of the street.  Basically it is hard to be positive when frustrated, and then it is hard to get anything of importance done while in this state.

I must say that I don’t find myself in a frustrated state often, but when I do, it seems to take the wind out of my sails for a period of time.  I found myself in this state yesterday, and it made me think about how I can talk myself from the edge and gain balance.

What I realized was that the first thing I had to do was (1) to acknowledge how I was feeling – “frustrated”; and (2) to own how I was feeling – “frustrated.”  Once I named the feeling and owned the feeling, I was able to determine what I needed to do to move from that state.   What I needed to do next, was to simply exhale and to remind myself that it is a temporary state of being, and that I choose how long I will be in a frustrated state.

While it took me the day to move from the frustrated state, I do believe the when it happens again, and I know it will – I don’t believe it will take me as long to move on.

Some scriptures to remember and to bring to remembrance include:

• I Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you.”
• Psalms 4:4 “Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still.”
• James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every an be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

Praying you have peaceful days, but if frustration comes you way, am prayerful the above tools can help.

Glory To God For All That He Has Done

Blessings to You – Janice

It’s All About Me. It’s Not About Me, It’s All About God

“It’s all about me and it’s not about me” is something that I have been saying for years.  Recently I had a very stressful and challenging week, and as I was reflecting on the week, I took comfort in this saying.

It’s All About Me:

As of today, I am one of about seven billion people who are currently living; and one of about 107 billion people who have ever lived, yet it is all about little ‘ole me.  God tells me through David’s Psalm, how well He knows me:

O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.  Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.  Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. (Psalms 139: 1-6)

I get great comfort from knowing how important I am to God, and how we have a personal relationship.  I am His child and He is my Heavenly Father.  I have been adopted by Him, as a result of my obedience to His Holy word.  I am no longer a slave to sin, so when I call out to Him, He responds:

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.  For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father (Romans 8:14-15).

But what truly lets me know it is all about me, is that Christ died for me, for me personally.  I was in His heart and mind when He sacrificed Himself.

For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.  For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.  But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:6-8).

It’s Not About Me – It’s All About Him

After understanding that it is all about me, that God cares so much for me, individually, that Christ allowed Himself to be crucified for me; my response is to understand that it is not about me, but all about Him.

God loved me so much, that He gave himself for me.  My response was to become obedient to His word, and to give my life as a living sacrifice for Him.  My desire is to now live a life that is pleasing and glorifying to Him.  I know that if I put God first, all other things fall into place.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service (Romans 12:1).

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me (Galatians 2:20).

He made it all about me – and now I strive to make it all about Him!  I strive to live a life in which His beauty and light shine through.

---

So what I know is that:

For God:  It is All About Me

For Me:  It is Not About Me, It is All About God

Glory to God for All That He Has Done

Blessings – Janice

All scripture is in King James Version

Life Transitions Christian Coaching

 

The “Gift” of Forgiveness – Part I – The Gift

This Is A Repost – Originally Posted in July 2016

I had an experience yesterday that is prompting this message.  But I had two trains of thought; therefore, I am doing it in two parts.  I am starting with “The Gift.”

Merriam-Webster defines a gift as “something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation.”

Yesterday I had someone, for the sake of this message, we will call “Katie,” thank me for forgiving her.  She said that I had gone well beyond the Bible in my forgiveness (which we know is not possible Matthew 18:21-22), and she wanted to let me know that she would be paying me back.  I spent several minutes explaining that I was glad she was on a different path in her life, and that repayment was not expected or sought.  I encouraged her to look forward and to continue to do well in her life.  Katie said that she was looking forward, but that it was important, and necessary for her to have some level of repayment.

Katie is a good person who had some difficulty in her life, and made some bad decisions. Katie regretted those decisions, requested forgiveness, and has made significant and marked changes in her life.  I can honestly say that Katie’s regret and subsequent actions, made forgiveness easy for me.  I tried to have Katie see my forgiveness as a gift, and that gifts are not repaid.

I was thinking about the conversation this morning, as I was emptying the dishwasher.  I often bewail the fact that it takes me awhile to think things through.  I rarely have a snappy come back or get the joke on the first telling.  I generally have to mull things over, and this was no different.  This morning I was thinking about the conversation, I was trying to think of different ways to demonstrate to Katie that my forgiveness was a gift that did not need to be repaid.  The greatest acknowledgement that Katie can give, is simply to understand the value of forgiveness and act accordingly (have a full and satisfying life).

When I receive a gift, I am always thankful and appreciative.  I must acknowledge that I do handle gifts differently.  Over the years, I have received various types of gifts from my husband, from a diamond necklace to a beautiful pair of house shoes.  It goes without saying that I handle the diamond necklace with more care and attention than the house shoes, because I know and understand its value.

It was during this time, that I reflected on God’s greatest gift to us.  That while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).  When we were most undeserving, God gifted us with the greatest sacrifice, His Son.  As Christians, we are so thankful, grateful, and humbled by this gift, that we seek ways to repay God.

It is impossible to repay God for His gift(s), and He does not want repayment.  God simply wants us to live fully in His blessings and to be obedient.  While repayment is not wanted or possible, God does want us to understand and acknowledge the value of His gift, and to handle it with care.  The beautiful thing is that by being obedient, we will not only have eternal life with Him, but our lives on earth will be abundant, based on His promises (John 10:10 and Romans 6:23).

I now see both sides – the side of the gift giver, and the side of the gift receiver.  The beautiful thing is that the actions on both sides are motivated by love!

• Gift Giver: I forgave Katie because of Love; God sacrificed His Son because of Love.  The gift giver seeks no repayment, other than what is best for the receiver.  I desire that Katie continue to move forward; God desires that we are obedient to His Word.

• Gift Receiver: Katie sought to repay the gift because of Love; Christians seek to repay God’s gift because of Love.  Although the gift receiver may understand repayment is not necessary or even possible, their heart seeks to repay because they are grateful and desire to show that gratitude in some way.

“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35 KJV).

Glory To God For All That He Has Done

Next Up The Gift of “Forgiveness” – Part II – Forgiveness

Blessings – Janice

Website:  www.lifetransitionscc.com

Referenced Scriptures – KJV:

Matthew 18:21- 22 “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? ²² Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”

Romans 5:8 “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

John 10:10 “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

 

 

How Can You Be The Light, If You Are Not Light?

I recall a time in my life when I was carefree.  That is not to say that I didn’t have responsibilities, or the occasional worry and stress that come from living in this world, but I was generally very carefree.  Most recently I have felt weighed down, that is to say, burdened by the cares of the world and fighting desperately to get back to that carefree state.  I often recall saying to friends that “I want to be light.”  I viewed that lightness as being relieved from the burdens that seemed to be weighing me down.  It was only this past week that I realized that being carefree is not being relieved of burdens, but rather choosing to be carefree.  My aha moment was realizing that feeling heavy or feeling light was my choice.

After realizing it was a choice, I also realized how important it is to feel and be light.  Christians are called to be God’s ambassadors and to allow His light to shine through us and to be a beacon to those that are in darkness.  If Christians are weighed down, it may be difficult to allow God’s light to be visible to others.   There are several scriptures that speak to this light and its importance.

John 8:12 “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”

I John 1:6-7 “If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: ⁷ But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”

Throughout the Bible, God admonishes Christians to let this light shine.

Matthew 5:16  ^“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

Matthew 5:14 “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.”

I Thessalonians 5:5 ^“Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.”

Ultimately I have decided it is a choice.  I have the ability to determine how I will receive and view the challenges in my life.  I can view them as a weight and allow myself to be burdened and risk hiding the light; or I can be prayerful, give the weight/burden to God (Psalms 55:22), and allow His light to shine brightly.

Glory To God For All That He Has Done

Blessings – Janice

Life Transitions Christian Coaching

All scripture is in King James Version

Confidence

A friend recently recommended the book “Waking The Dead” by John Eldredge.  As I read the back of the book the word confidence came to mind.  The back of the book reads, in part, “…to be touched by God is to be restored.  To become all God meant you to be. That is what Christianity is supposed to do for you – make you whole, set you free, bring you fully alive.”

The words made me think how a Christian should move through this life with a certain level of confidence.  Confidence is often defined as “the state of feeling certain about the truth of something,”  God promises are sure, they provide a firm foundation upon which a Christian can stand and move.

When we are sure about the ground we are walking on (e.g., concrete) , we don’t worry about the ground – we move quickly and firmly; we walk without looking down; we walk with purpose; we walk with confidence.

When we are unsure about the ground we are walking on (e.g., gravel or ice), we worry about the ground – we move slowly and timidly; we walk looking down; we walk focused on the ground; we do not walk confidently.

God’s promises allow the Christian to walk with confidence.  The enemy is constantly seeking to shake the Christian’s confidence and slow the walk or even halt the walk all together.  It is natural, in this life, for Christian to occasionally wonder and to test the ground before moving forward; but to ultimately and always move forward based on God’s promises and His will for our lives.  As Christian’s grow in knowledge of God and in His will, the time between testing and movement should grow smaller and smaller.

Confidence in God’s promises is not hubris, it is simply moving with faith and belief in the word of God.  There are numerous scriptures that speak to having confidence, some include:

Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ” (personal favorite)

Proverbs 3:26 “For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.”

Joshua 1:9 “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”

I John 5:14 “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, He heareth us.”

If as a Christian you are unsure of your path, go back to God’s word and determine if you are walking within His will:

If the answer is yes, then move forward with confidence knowing the foundation is strong and firm.

If you are not walking within His will, then stop your movement, study His word, seek His face, and ask God for His direction.  Once His will is understood and accepted, then move forward with confidence knowing the foundation is strong and firm.

Christians should always allow the Lord to go first, and to follow after Him.  As a friend recently reminded me, He will “…go before thee, and make the crooked places straight… (Isaiah 45:2)

Glory, Glory and Glory To God for All That He Has Done

Blessings – Janice

Life Transitions Christian Coaching

All scripture is in King James Version

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blessings – Janice